ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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