I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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