i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Did I show you my penis last night?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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