So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
