Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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