just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
