My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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