So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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