He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
