I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize