1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
