In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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