just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
