I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
