Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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