Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
