Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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