omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
