Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
