:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
