community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
