69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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