So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Randomize
