He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
