then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
