you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I stole a fireplace last night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
