you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
