I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
