I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
