She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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