MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
