therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
