I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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