gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
