dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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