i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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