Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
FUCK WHALES
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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