I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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