Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
