i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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