So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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