Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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