does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
