I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
