A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
