Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
