Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
