i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
