It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
