Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
