i think my mom watched the whole time
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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