She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
