I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
