I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i just sent this text using only my big toe
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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